The answer is yes and no.
 
I’m not talking about contraception. I am speaking to the idea that we can control birth. Actually birth itself can’t be controlled. No one has any way of knowing what is going to happen in the birthing time. The birth process is inherently intelligent and when undisturbed takes its own course and happens the way it is meant to. It is only when interference occurs that the process and outcomes are altered and “controlled”. You’ve heard the saying “nature knows best”, right? What if birth is not meant to be controlled? What if there is something bigger going on ?
 
If birth is not meant to be controlled, does that mean we give up our power? No. In fact it’s quite the opposite. The true power is in the surrender. We take charge of and influence the things we can, and let go of the rest.
 
There are 2 things which you do have control over:
 

1. How you prepare yourself
2. How you respond to circumstances

So what does that mean?
 
Just because you don’t control birth doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prepare your mind and body. In fact, it is essential that you prepare yourself for this unique life-changing event. By preparing mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually you are dramatically increasing your chances of success. You can hope for better health outcomes for yourself and your baby, increased bonding, less fear, more comfortable and shorter labor, more satisfaction with your experience overall, and more.
 
When you understand the process, generally know what to expect and feel like an active participant, you can transform your experience. Of course the #1 goal always is to have a healthy baby. Everyone wants that, yet it’s the process, the journey and the experience itself that have the potential to empower a woman to realize her own strength and transform her . Giving birth in full awareness can wake a woman up to how powerful and amazing she is.
 
In addition to preparing, the other thing you have control over is how you respond. Accepting that many things are out of your control, especially in a hospital setting, can free you from that false perception of control. In any given moment you have a choice. We all do. You can choose your thoughts and beliefs and you can choose your response. Obviously not easy to consciously choose your reactions, especially while in labor but you can make up your mind before going into labor that you will let go and accept what is and what has to be. I’m not saying just go along with whatever is being done or suggested, definitely not! I am saying let go of false illusions of control about the way it has to be. Know that if you have done everything in your power to prepare yourself fully and make the best decisions possible, then you will be best served by being with what comes up in the moment and letting go of everything else.
 
By letting go of the illusion of control and by being flexible enough to adapt to real changes, you are decreasing your chances of postpartum depression, negative feelings about yourself and your experience, including guilt, anger and shame. Many women have these feelings when they end up giving birth by C-Section or experience other interventions. They feel victimized, traumatized and disillusioned by their birth experience. No one plans on a C-Section unless of course they plan one, yet 1 in 3 women will give birth by C-Section. There are plenty of things you can do to avoid an unnecessary C-Section, yet there are times when C-Sections are necessary and beneficial. Knowing the difference and knowing you did everything in your power to avoid an unnecessary C-Section, can be peace of mind if one becomes necessary.
 
If you prepare your mind and body through education and exploration, consciously choose based on what options are best for you, actively engage in the process, get strong support and then let go of the need to control, you are setting yourself up for the best chances of success. Can disappointment still happen? Sure, but such is life and in the event that it does, you will be better equipped to deal with it.
 
What are you willing to do to prepare yourself for the trials and tribulations of life? Birth is a great training ground to form new beliefs and gain new tools to use as a parent and for the rest of your life. What will you commit to now in preparing yourself fully and then letting go?
 
When you set an intention and put it in writing, it is more likely to happen. Let me hold the intention with you. Please share your intentions in the comment section below.